Exposed & Perfectly Flawed

Okay… I am seriously rethinking this post.  🙂  With my new theme of doing things fearlessly…. I think I must post this!! 


So last weekend I went to St. George for the weekend with my mom and 2 oldest kids.  We were enjoying the beautiful weather and decided to go hiking to some really cool (and very old) Native American writings carved into rock.  


Shortly after we found the writings, I discovered that I needed to go to the bathroom REALLY BADLY!   My mind raced trying to find the fastest way to the car so I could go to a gas station or store or ANYTHING!  You see… I have had a fear of going to the bathroom outside in the wilderness ever since I was a child.  It sounded like the most horrible, uncomfortable, embarrassing thing EVER!  


I walked as fast as I could to the car… stopping occasionally… but I was SO determined to make it to a bathroom.  About 20 feet from the car, I realized the inevitable.  I would face my fear at this moment.  


There were people hiking down the mountain behind me so I hobbled off to the side and hid behind a rock.  I scared 2 jackrabbits away from the area and then…. well, you know…. I became "one" with nature.


So here is the part of the story that is funny… and inspiring… 🙂  It was during that moment when I was feeling so exposed, embarrassed, and scared that I had this thought come to me…


"Hey – this isn't so bad.  What was I so afraid of?"  


I started thinking about all the other areas in my life where I might be too afraid to move forward… and I carry that thought with me "Maybe it's not as bad as I imagined?"   


In order to bring my life to the level I want it to be… I think I need to feel exposed, embarrassed, and scared sometimes.  


I went to a book publishing seminar in November 2009 with Michael Drew.  During the entire couple of days, he kept telling us how important it is to be "REAL, RAW, and RELEVANT".  This is how we connect to others and help them. This is how we market our message… we need to show that we are human – and flawed.  



Here I am… I am the new Martina… the one who is no longer afraid of showing her insides.   The one who is willing to show her weaknesses and strengths in order to connect and help others.  I might be afraid at times – but I KNOW that I will push beyond the fear… because when I do… I know I will think "HEY!  That's not as bad as I thought it would be"  And each time I do this, my faith will be strengthened until someday my faith will be perfect.  I won't be perfect… but I will be the REAL and RAW MARTINA.   You could say I am "perfectly flawed"  😀  

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